AE Couldn't Say Yes

Couldn't Say Yes
April 18, 2025
Original + Print available

Original is A4 size: 210 mm x 297 mm / 8.3 in x 11.7 in

Print is A3 size: 297 mm x 420 mm / 29.7 cm x 42 cm / 11.7 in x 16.5 in

Two Print options are available:

$35
Coated Matte paper
Printed in Lewes, UK
300 gsm
Archival 4-color ink
Signed

$45
Coated Photographic Satin paper
Printed in Lewes, UK
300 gsm
Archival 4-color ink
Giclee print
Signed

The Story:

True story.

I thought I was meeting a new friend for a drink at a location between our homes. I went to the toilet and left a half-finished, very weak drink on the bar. Ended up being so drunk from that one drink he carried me back to his place as I fell in and out of consciousness.

I woke up half naked in his bed with him on top of me, his sweat dripping onto my face and his chest stubble scraping my skin.

Personal Jesus by Depeche Mode was playing.

I pushed him off of me, dressed myself while still totally wasted, and stumbled back to the bar and my car where I cried myself to sleep. I woke up and drove home, still drunk.

From then I either never drank while out without a partner or drove myself home drunk. Better than the alternative. I couldn’t trust anyone.

I tried to tell my boyfriend what had happened but he didn’t believe me.

I later ended up working at the same investment firm as him without knowing. I was so excited to have my first real graphic design job. He found my name in a group email and harassed me relentlessly from his desk in the building across the lawn.

Instead of speaking to my coworkers or HR, I started looking for another job. My boss found out I was applying to new jobs and fired me with no notice. I never told anyone at that firm what happened. Just cried as I carried my box out to the parking lot, accompanied by a few concerned coworkers. I told people I left the job because it was boring. It wasn’t. I loved it. I just couldn’t stay near him.

I stopped making friends with men after that. For a long time. Ghosted any male friend who seemed to have ulterior motives. Hid in crowds at clubs and pretended to have fun. Suppressed the shame.

Now I’m just angry.